Almost everyone feels lonely at some point, and the feeling is not the same as simply being on your own. This article explains what loneliness is, what official figures say about who feels it, and which practical steps and services the NHS points to.
Is feeling lonely the same as being alone?
No. The NHS is clear that you do not have to be on your own all the time to feel lonely, and that people can feel lonely in a busy city, among colleagues, or even in the company of friends. Loneliness is about the gap between the connection you have and the connection you want. Some people enjoy a great deal of time alone and feel content; others are rarely alone and still feel unseen.
That distinction matters in London, where a person can be surrounded by thousands of people on the Tube every day and still go a week without a conversation that feels meaningful.
What are the different kinds of loneliness?
The NHS Every Mind Matters guidance describes three broad types:
| Type | What it feels like |
|---|---|
| Emotional loneliness | Lacking a close bond, for example with a good friend or partner |
| Social loneliness | Lacking friends to go out with, or people who share your interests |
| Existential loneliness | Feeling alone even among people you know |
Some people feel lonely only occasionally. Others experience chronic loneliness, which is ongoing. Knowing which kind sounds most familiar can help you decide what might actually ease it. A new city, for instance, often calls for social connection, while grief may call for emotional closeness and time.
How common is loneliness in England?
The Office for National Statistics (ONS) published an analysis in April 2018 using the Community Life Survey, which covered adults aged 16 and over in England between August 2016 and March 2017. Participants were asked how often they felt lonely. According to the ONS:
- 5% said “often/always”, which is about 1 in 20 adults
- 16% said “sometimes”
- 24% said “occasionally”
- 46% reported feeling lonely at least occasionally
Those figures are several years old, and the survey covers England rather than London alone, so they are best read as a picture of how widespread the experience is rather than a current count. The useful point is the scale: feeling lonely now and then is normal, and a smaller group feel it persistently.
The ONS analysis also found that loneliness was not spread evenly. Younger adults aged 16 to 24 were the most likely to report feeling lonely often or always, and people aged 75 and over were 63% less likely to do so than 16 to 24-year-olds once other factors were accounted for. Women reported feeling lonely more often than men, widowed people were more likely to report loneliness, and renters more often than homeowners. People who rated their health as bad or very bad were most likely to report it, and people with a long-term illness or disability were 56% more likely to report loneliness than those without, after adjustment. These are associations in survey data, not proof of cause.
What tends to trigger loneliness?
According to the NHS, loneliness can affect anyone and is often linked to:
- living or working alone
- retirement
- illness or disability
- bereavement, or losing something important
- moving to a new area, job, school or university
- social anxiety
- major life events such as buying a home, having a baby or planning a wedding
Sometimes there is no clear reason at all. The NHS advice is not to blame yourself, and to remember that these feelings usually pass.
Can loneliness affect health?
The NHS notes that when loneliness is severe or long-lasting, it may raise the risk of stress, anxiety, low mood and depression, and possibly dementia. Signs can include avoiding social events or feeling nervous about them, changes in routine such as eating or waking habits, and trouble falling or staying asleep.
It is worth keeping this in proportion. A lonely week does not damage your health, and the NHS framing is about persistent loneliness. Loneliness and low mood can also feed each other: feeling low makes reaching out harder, and having less contact can deepen low mood. That is why small, manageable steps tend to be recommended over dramatic overhauls.
What small steps does the NHS suggest?
The NHS guidance is practical and deliberately modest. Its suggestions include:
- Talk about how you feel with someone you trust, a healthcare professional or a counsellor.
- Keep in touch. A short message to an old friend or a group chat can make you feel more connected.
- Join a group or class built around an interest, in person or online. The NHS notes you can watch first if you feel nervous.
- Spend time in shared public spaces, such as parks, cafés or cinemas, where being around others is low pressure.
- Try volunteering or peer support, which gives contact with others and a sense of purpose.
- Do things you enjoy, such as walking, exercise, reading or listening to a podcast.
- Set small, achievable goals and focus on what you can control, rather than trying to do everything at once.
Two cautions appear in the NHS advice. Comparing yourself with other people on social media can make you feel lonelier, since people tend to share the good parts of their lives. And alcohol, cigarettes, gambling or drugs are not a good way to cope, because they can make mental health worse.
For ideas on structuring this, the NHS-backed Five Ways to Wellbeing framework puts “connect” first, and London’s green spaces are an easy place to start being around other people without needing a plan.
Where can you find support in London and across the UK?
Beyond self-help, the NHS points to several routes:
- Social prescribing. You can ask your GP about social prescribing, which can connect you with a link worker who helps find local activities and groups.
- NHS talking therapies. These are free, include cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT), and you can refer yourself without seeing a GP. Our guide to NHS Talking Therapies and what to expect explains the process.
- Helplines and charities. Every Mind Matters lists Silverline, a free 24-hour helpline for people over 55 on 0800 4 70 80 90; The Mix, free support for under-25s on 0808 808 4494; and CALM, a suicide prevention helpline on 0800 58 58 58, open from 5pm to midnight every day. The NHS also mentions Age UK and Re-engage for older people, and Mind for guides and support group information.
Loneliness can be especially hard around life changes, so it can help to look for support just before or just after one, such as starting a new job or retiring, rather than waiting until the feeling has settled in.
When should you speak to a GP or NHS 111?
According to the NHS, it is worth seeing a GP if you are struggling with stress, anxiety or low mood, if low mood has lasted more than two weeks, if self-help is not working, or if you would prefer a GP referral. If you need help quickly but it is not an emergency, call NHS 111 or use 111 online, or ask for an urgent GP appointment.
If you or someone else needs immediate help, or has seriously harmed themselves, call 999 or go to A&E. The NHS says a mental health emergency should be taken as seriously as a medical emergency.
A gentle way to think about connection
Loneliness is a human signal, not a flaw, and it is far more common than most people assume. The evidence from official sources supports a patient approach: understand which kind of connection is missing, take small steps that feel manageable, and use free NHS routes such as social prescribing and talking therapies if the feeling lingers. Connection can be rebuilt in modest increments, and asking for help is a sensible part of that.
This is general information, not a substitute for advice from a doctor or other qualified health professional. If you are struggling, speak to your GP or call NHS 111; if you need someone to talk to, Samaritans are available on 116 123.
Sources: NHS; Office for National Statistics
